Final blog of the semester.....

I have learned that it isn't wrong to want to do something just because it makes me feel good inside. I have wanted to work in public health for a long time. People keep telling me "but you know you won't make as much money". Yes I need money but that is not the only thing that makes me happy in life.

I think I am actually starting to think and act like a nurse now that I am close to becoming one. When I first started nursing school I didn't even really have an idea what being a nurse really was. I don't think most people do until they actually do it. I have thought a lot over this last semester about what area I really would like to go into. I love childbirth and helping new mothers but I also love working in oncology. It seems a little strange since one is bringing a new life into the world and the other one you end up losing patients many times. I still haven't totally decided which direction to go.

One thing I realized is the importance of Thank You notes. I know I have several I need to write. My mom has a friend who sends thank you notes for many things and it makes people feel good.

3 things I really liked about this class are the encouragement to do what we love, helping other find their dreams, and forcing us to find the nerve to interview and contact people. I think it has become easier to contact people over the semester. I have learned that you have to be persistent. And people ususally like to talk to others about their job and how they got there. It is usually a complement for people to hear "I really want to be like you....can you help me out a little?"

3 things I liked least....one was probably time diary but I should probably start doing one. I wasn't too crazy about reading but that was only because I had sooooo much else to do. Many of the reading were actually very interesting and informative. I can't think of another one....

I think it would be interesting to have more class discussions about the readings. I love discussing things in class. I wasn't too crazy about the movies in class but that is just because I like to lay down when I watch a movie....the movies were good. I think this would be a great class for freshmen. Many people don't know what they want to do even though they are in college already. I would even like a class like this in high school. I had no idea what to do with my life as I was finishing high school. Overall I really loved this class and learned a lot from it!

Sunday night planning meeting

Planning out the week ahead is not really that new to me. I have a habit of being forgetful and procrastinating. Writing down what needs to be done for the week really helps me. It also helps me to check off what I already did because I feel a little less stress about everything else. This week I plan on finishing all the paperwork for graduation. I need to buy my gown still. Plus I would like to get a haircut for graduation. I wrote down everything in my daily planner. I love my daily planner and don't know what I did without one for so long. It helps me put time and what needs to be done in perspective. I also planned out who I was going to talk to about possible job positions. I was going to apply to the Chicago Dept of Public Health but I just found out that I have to be a resident of Chicago. That is a little disappointing but I will look for jobs in other public health areas.

Weekly business meeting (part 2)

So I had my second weekly business meeting with my friend. We met for coffee this time. Knowing that I was going to see her and talk about my week made me feel more of an obligation to do what I needed to do. She also said she felt more of an obligation to do what she said she would do. I looked for and applied to two more positions. I talked to my friend about how difficult it is to find a job right now and she recommended a couple of places for me to apply to. I guess she has been asking around since she knows I am applying for a job. I think talking to her every week really helps. It helps me to finish what I want to do and realize that I am doing more than I thought. Some weeks I think "what did I really get done this week?" Talking to her about what I did made me realize that I get a lot done in a week!

First steps.....

I am continuing to work on projects for school so I can graduate (only 2 more weeks!). I am also studying for the NCLEX every day by reviewing my drug cards. That is the hardest part of the NCLEX to me. Many of the drugs we never even learned. I am also getting things ready for graduation. It seems like I have so much to do in the next couple of weeks. I know it will fly by though!

Weekly business meeting

I did my weekly business meeting with one of my good friends who is also in nursing school (but at a different school). We usually meet for drinks but we decided to postpone drinking until after the meeting. Drinks might have made the meeting more interesting though. I talked to her about sending out my resume last week and getting a reply that the unit I wanted to work at isn't hiring right now. My friend still has a year until graduation so she still isn't sure where she wants to work or what area to work in. She researched that a little more. I complained a little (ok a lot!) about school and how I am stressed the last few weeks before graduation. I also complained about how the economy is messing up my job search. She also complained about school and how stressful it is. We made several goals for next week. One of my goals is to send my resume to two more hospitals. I also plan on finishing my paper and starting to study for my community final. My friend said she would call me by Sunday to make sure that I sent out my resume.

Next step....

Right now I am just focusing on graduating before I can begin any of my other steps. I have been applying for jobs without much success. I am working on my paper which is due Friday. I have a big portion of it finished already. I also talked to a nurse practitioner who works in a school based clinic. We found a day that I will be able to shadow her which is exciting. I think it is all about who you know. I talked to my clinical instructor the first day of clinical about being interested in shadowing a school nurse or a nurse practitioner who works in a school based clinic. Right away she said she might be able to help me out. I was very shy growing up and still find it a little uncomfortable talking to new people for the first time. I have learned that I have to crawl out of my shell if I really want to get what I want.

Reflecting on Fear

I have to admit that I have a little fear when I think about my goal. I would like to become a midwife which can carry a lot of responsibility. You are responsible for not only one but two lives. Sometimes I think it would be easier and less stressful to just become a RN and do that for the rest of my life. But then I think about if I would really be fulfilled and happy with that. I'm sure I would enjoy it for a while but I have a feeling I would be bored eventually. I would also like to have more autonomy when it comes to my patients. I don't want to have to go to a doctor every time I want to order a medication or if I need to send a patient for a test. I guess I just like to be independent and not ask anyone for anything (if I don't have to). Part of being independent is having more responsibility. That is what scares me. Responsibility is a little scary. Ok it is a lot scary. The way I get through my fear is to remind myself that I would be doing something that I really want to do.

My fear is stage fright. I know that I can learn to live with or get over my fear. It will not stop me from achieving my goal. My mom is the main person who keeps me going. She went back to school when I was younger I saw that she could do it as a single mom with two small children. When I tell her how school is driving me crazy or I don't think I can do it anymore, she reminds me of how far I have already come. She tells me that nothing in life is really easy and everyone has things they have to do that are hard. That really puts things back into perspective and gets me back on track.