Final blog of the semester.....

I have learned that it isn't wrong to want to do something just because it makes me feel good inside. I have wanted to work in public health for a long time. People keep telling me "but you know you won't make as much money". Yes I need money but that is not the only thing that makes me happy in life.

I think I am actually starting to think and act like a nurse now that I am close to becoming one. When I first started nursing school I didn't even really have an idea what being a nurse really was. I don't think most people do until they actually do it. I have thought a lot over this last semester about what area I really would like to go into. I love childbirth and helping new mothers but I also love working in oncology. It seems a little strange since one is bringing a new life into the world and the other one you end up losing patients many times. I still haven't totally decided which direction to go.

One thing I realized is the importance of Thank You notes. I know I have several I need to write. My mom has a friend who sends thank you notes for many things and it makes people feel good.

3 things I really liked about this class are the encouragement to do what we love, helping other find their dreams, and forcing us to find the nerve to interview and contact people. I think it has become easier to contact people over the semester. I have learned that you have to be persistent. And people ususally like to talk to others about their job and how they got there. It is usually a complement for people to hear "I really want to be like you....can you help me out a little?"

3 things I liked least....one was probably time diary but I should probably start doing one. I wasn't too crazy about reading but that was only because I had sooooo much else to do. Many of the reading were actually very interesting and informative. I can't think of another one....

I think it would be interesting to have more class discussions about the readings. I love discussing things in class. I wasn't too crazy about the movies in class but that is just because I like to lay down when I watch a movie....the movies were good. I think this would be a great class for freshmen. Many people don't know what they want to do even though they are in college already. I would even like a class like this in high school. I had no idea what to do with my life as I was finishing high school. Overall I really loved this class and learned a lot from it!

Sunday night planning meeting

Planning out the week ahead is not really that new to me. I have a habit of being forgetful and procrastinating. Writing down what needs to be done for the week really helps me. It also helps me to check off what I already did because I feel a little less stress about everything else. This week I plan on finishing all the paperwork for graduation. I need to buy my gown still. Plus I would like to get a haircut for graduation. I wrote down everything in my daily planner. I love my daily planner and don't know what I did without one for so long. It helps me put time and what needs to be done in perspective. I also planned out who I was going to talk to about possible job positions. I was going to apply to the Chicago Dept of Public Health but I just found out that I have to be a resident of Chicago. That is a little disappointing but I will look for jobs in other public health areas.

Weekly business meeting (part 2)

So I had my second weekly business meeting with my friend. We met for coffee this time. Knowing that I was going to see her and talk about my week made me feel more of an obligation to do what I needed to do. She also said she felt more of an obligation to do what she said she would do. I looked for and applied to two more positions. I talked to my friend about how difficult it is to find a job right now and she recommended a couple of places for me to apply to. I guess she has been asking around since she knows I am applying for a job. I think talking to her every week really helps. It helps me to finish what I want to do and realize that I am doing more than I thought. Some weeks I think "what did I really get done this week?" Talking to her about what I did made me realize that I get a lot done in a week!

First steps.....

I am continuing to work on projects for school so I can graduate (only 2 more weeks!). I am also studying for the NCLEX every day by reviewing my drug cards. That is the hardest part of the NCLEX to me. Many of the drugs we never even learned. I am also getting things ready for graduation. It seems like I have so much to do in the next couple of weeks. I know it will fly by though!

Weekly business meeting

I did my weekly business meeting with one of my good friends who is also in nursing school (but at a different school). We usually meet for drinks but we decided to postpone drinking until after the meeting. Drinks might have made the meeting more interesting though. I talked to her about sending out my resume last week and getting a reply that the unit I wanted to work at isn't hiring right now. My friend still has a year until graduation so she still isn't sure where she wants to work or what area to work in. She researched that a little more. I complained a little (ok a lot!) about school and how I am stressed the last few weeks before graduation. I also complained about how the economy is messing up my job search. She also complained about school and how stressful it is. We made several goals for next week. One of my goals is to send my resume to two more hospitals. I also plan on finishing my paper and starting to study for my community final. My friend said she would call me by Sunday to make sure that I sent out my resume.

Next step....

Right now I am just focusing on graduating before I can begin any of my other steps. I have been applying for jobs without much success. I am working on my paper which is due Friday. I have a big portion of it finished already. I also talked to a nurse practitioner who works in a school based clinic. We found a day that I will be able to shadow her which is exciting. I think it is all about who you know. I talked to my clinical instructor the first day of clinical about being interested in shadowing a school nurse or a nurse practitioner who works in a school based clinic. Right away she said she might be able to help me out. I was very shy growing up and still find it a little uncomfortable talking to new people for the first time. I have learned that I have to crawl out of my shell if I really want to get what I want.

Reflecting on Fear

I have to admit that I have a little fear when I think about my goal. I would like to become a midwife which can carry a lot of responsibility. You are responsible for not only one but two lives. Sometimes I think it would be easier and less stressful to just become a RN and do that for the rest of my life. But then I think about if I would really be fulfilled and happy with that. I'm sure I would enjoy it for a while but I have a feeling I would be bored eventually. I would also like to have more autonomy when it comes to my patients. I don't want to have to go to a doctor every time I want to order a medication or if I need to send a patient for a test. I guess I just like to be independent and not ask anyone for anything (if I don't have to). Part of being independent is having more responsibility. That is what scares me. Responsibility is a little scary. Ok it is a lot scary. The way I get through my fear is to remind myself that I would be doing something that I really want to do.

My fear is stage fright. I know that I can learn to live with or get over my fear. It will not stop me from achieving my goal. My mom is the main person who keeps me going. She went back to school when I was younger I saw that she could do it as a single mom with two small children. When I tell her how school is driving me crazy or I don't think I can do it anymore, she reminds me of how far I have already come. She tells me that nothing in life is really easy and everyone has things they have to do that are hard. That really puts things back into perspective and gets me back on track.

First steps....

I decided to finish filling out all the stuff that needs be done before I can become an RN. I never knew that there would be so many steps involved or that it would cost so much money! $52 here, $200 there. This comes at a really bad time because I am really broke (obviously....I'm a student). I hate asking my mom to pay for some of it but why not. I have been financing my entire education up to this point. What makes it embarrassing is that I am 30, married and have two kids. I can't wait until have a real career and don't have to worry about living check to check. I don't know how people do it their whole lives. My goal is to pay off my credit cards and have a nice savings soon in the future. Ok....I totally got off subject. I guess I needed to vent a little about money problems right now. Now I just need to buy my gown which I am doing closer to graduation. Looking at my gown right now may give me a bad case of Senioritis. I need to stay focused on school right now.

First steps....

I sent my resume to another hospital. I revised it a little because there were some things I forgot to put. It is difficult to make a resume sound exciting when you don't really have any experience for the job you are applying for. And applying for jobs in this economy is not fun! I also started writing my paper. It is not an easy paper to write since I have never wrote a paper about a community before. It is really hard to work on such a big project right before graduation but it is sure making time pass really quick!

Flow chart

I have no idea if you can read any of this but this is the best I could do. I was not about to take a picture with it because I was all ready for bed at this time.

Interview

It was kind of difficult to find more people to interview. I tried to contact people who work at clinics that I am interested in but I didn't get any response. I decided to interview one of my past clinical instructors (K.D.). I knew that she was a midwife but never really spoke with her about it. We had a very interesting conversation about the health care system and the problems midwives face because of it. I didn't know that midwives have to worry about malpractice insurance that much. K.D. said to make sure to ask about malpractice insurance before agreeing to any job offers.
I was able to ask questions about what I should expect my schedule to look like. Having a really busy schedule is one thing I worry about because I have two children and we may have more in the future. I want to be able to spend time with them. She said it wouldn't be impossible to work only 40 hours a week. I don't mind working more but I want the opportunity to work less if I want. Even though the weather was beautiful today and I didn't want to be stuck inside doing an interview I am glad that I took the time to do so. It was a very interesting experience and I really learned a lot about being a midwife.

I also spoke to a RN who works in a public health clinic. It was a good interview because public/community health is something I am interested in. She said she worked in a hospital as a bedside nurse for many years and then decided to work in a clinic. She enjoyed working as a bedside nurse but enjoys having her holidays and evenings off now. Plus she is able to devote more time and attention to her patients. That is the main reason I want to work in a clinic. Plus I can try to prevent patients from ever having to enter a hospital in the first place

Interview #2

I talked with a nurse who is working on a post-partum unit. She said she really enjoys her job especially teaching new mothers. That is something I also enjoy to do. She has won several awards for helping patients. She said that compassion is very important because that is something some nurses don't have towards patients and other nurses. She was interesting to talk to because she has many years of experience. She has worked in Saudi Arabia in a clinic. She also worked for many years in Chicago as a post-partum nurse.

Interview #1

I talked to a nurse practitioner that used to work in the type of clinic I would like to work in (teen clinic). She worked as a nurse on a pediatric unit before becoming a nurse practitioner at a clinic. Currently she is taking some time off because she has younge children. She recommended that I work at a hospital that would pay for me to go back to school. That way I could save some money on student loans and get some experience. She gave me advice to follow my heart. I would like to work in a clinic or public health. Many people tell me that I won't make as good of money as I would in a hospital. Money is important but I would rather work with people before they have to come to a hospital. Prevention is very important to me. There are many young girls who get pregnant or STIs (sexually transmitted infections). I would like to help teen girls before they get pregnant or after so that they can have a better life. I was a young, single mom so I know how hard it can be. Most girls need support and someone to tell them they can do something with their lives.

My network

I contacted 5 people who are currently living on of my lives but I don't feel comfortable posting their contact information. I will describe who they are though...

Lactation consultant in a hospital
Nurse who works on healthcare on a global level
Woman who has adopted 2 children
Nurse practitioner who worked in a teen clinic
Baker who cooks organic healthy foods

flowchart

Graduate from nursing school
Pass the NCLEX
get a job in a clinic or hospital in maternity
work for a few years
apply to school to become a nurse practitioner
finish school
find a job in a clinic as a nurse practitioner

My dream

I don't know what happened to my other post so here goes...

Dream: Being a RN in a school based clinic

Touchstone: helping others, possibly changing lives

Role Model: My Mom (she hasn't done anything like this but she does help others without worrying about being rich)

Target: Helping people who really need it

Personality Type

My personality type was ENFP (Extraverted Intuitive Feeling Perceiving). After reading the description of an ENFP I was a little surprised. I thought it might get some things correct but almost everything was true about me. I don't know if the career paths were 100% correct but I do enjoy teaching. I don't know if I want to be a teacher but I enjoy teaching my patients about their health care.

Fantasy Analysis....

Indispensable to my ideal day

What: helping others, being a nurse

Where: warm place, around others with ideas similar to mine

Who: my husband, my kids, my family, my good friends

Optional but desirable

What: long walks after dinner

Where: close to the country

Frills

What: a huge window that over looks the water

Where: a house next to the water

Who: a live in maid

What happens when walk through an adjusted ideal day with only the indispensable elements in it?
My day would look kind of like it does now (except I would have graduated by now). One of the only differences would be where I live. I can't stand winter for 6 months (or more) out of the year. One of my goals in life is to live in a warm place probably on the west coast (couldn't live in the south).

What elements of my idea day do I already have?
I already have my family and friends. I am on my way to becoming a nurse and hopefully helping people.

What is missing from my life?
Warm weather! And living closer to people with similar ideas to mine (my neighborhood is too conservative for my tastes).

What stands between my dreams?
I would have to move to have what I want. Moving around different kinds of people is easy....moving some place warm is not so easy.

My ideal day....

I wake up at 7am after a night of uninterrupted sleep. It is warm enough just to need a light blanket. The sun is just starting to rise which I can watch in our huge windows overlooking the bay. I take a shower and get dressed. My kids and husband get up on their own without me having to ask once. They make their own breakfast and don't fight over the bathroom once. They clean up after themselves and leave on time without me having to bug them. I walk to the train station which is 3 blocks away. The train comes right away and there is a seat for me. I get to work 15 mins early so I have time to relax a little before I have to start my day.

I get to spend plenty of time with my patients and never have to rush. All my co-workers work as a team and never talk bad about each other behind their backs. I take an hour lunch. I each a fresh lunch that I prepared the night before and then take a 20 min walk with my friend before returning to work. After leaving work I have enough time to go work out for 30 mins before going home. I come home to a clean house and start to prepare dinner. My kids are glad to help me out after cleaning their rooms. After cooking dinner my husband starts washing the dishes without me having to ask once.

After everyone helps to clean after dinner, we all take a walk by the water. We take turns throwing sticks for the dog. The smell of nature is in the air. We walk back to the house. We sit on our front porch while the kids play with other kids in the neighborhood. Our good friend from next door come over and sit with us while we watch the sun set. When we go back in the house the kids go get ready for bed. After the kids have fallen asleep, my husband and I watch a movie and drink a glass of wine.

My ideal environment....

I have thought about my ideal environment several times over the years but I never really think about how it would change me as a person. I would love to live some place that is warm year round. I get extra crabby in the winter from being locked in the house and having to wear multiple layers. I need to live in a place where people have similar political views as I do. That would mean that people around me also care for the enviroment and don't throw garbage on the ground (which drives me nuts!). I want people around me that care about their children but don't micro-manage their lives.

I would love to have a maid who cleans the house and washes the dishes. I don't mind cooking but I hate cleaning up after. This would help me focus on my career and children. For work I like to work around people who don't gossip or backstab. I would like to work with people that believe in teamwork instead of complaining how they hate their job all day. I would like to work with patients that are really looking for help and not an excuse to complain.

20 things I like to do....

play with my kids
talking to my husband
walk the dog
go dancing
hiking in nature
eating chocolate
watching tv :(
helping others
reading books, magazines, etc.
having alone time
going on vacation
sitting outside on a warm summer night
talking to my mom
swimming
surfing the web
going to thrift stores/garage sales
cooking
having parties
spending time with friends
sleep!

Doing this exercise helped me see that I do a lot of the things I enjoy on a regular basis. I should try to make time for some of the other activities that I don't do as often as I would like (for example hiking in nature or swimming). I could combine some of the activities like take my kids hiking in nature. Normally they aren't too excited about the hiking part but they do love to be in nature.

The Private-Eye game...

the person who lives in this house must love to cook. There are many things to cook with, spices and cook books. The walls are a little boring, they are plain white. I can see that this person does enjoy art because I see several paintings on the wall. She enjoys reading novels because there are lots of books. The CDs she owns range from classical to hip hop. She has quite a bit of shoes which must mean she likes to shop. She also owns several pairs of gym shoes so she either plays a sport, works out or walks a lot. There are a range of clothes in the closet. There are many dresses but also many casual clothes. I don't see many business casual clothes so she much either not work or work a job in which she doesn't need those kinds of clothes.

I am magenta....

I like attention without being too obnoxious. I am sweet and strong at the same time. I am feminine but not too girly. I am bright and cheerful but also reserved.

The reason I picked magenta was because it was my favorite color when I was younger. I liked pink but I didn't like any pink that was too light. I liked that magenta was kind of girly but a strong color at the same time. I also loved the name "magenta". I always thought it sounded so strong and feminine.

What do I love (and what do others love about me)?

The first part of our assignment is to ask one of our parents these questions. I was interested in my Mom's response. This also got me thinking about my son because he is 5 right now. Five is such an interesting age because kids are starting to really learn about the world outside of their own little world. My son asks me questions about everything. There isn't something that he isn't curious about (ok...maybe the taste of spinach). So I talked to my mom on the phone like we do almost every day and this is what she said.....



1. What was I like in the first 5 years of my life?
You were interested in learning and very curious. You were very social and made friends easily. You were a little reserved with adults; not really shy but maybe cautious. You did have temper tantrums and could be stubborn.

2. What things did I love, what games did I like to play, what did you think was unique about me?
You liked to play social games like store and play family. You also liked to play board games and playing with animals. You liked to play outside. You were a very resilient child; you weren't swayed by others opinions. You didn't like people to tell you what to do. You were a very "sturdy" child.

3. What did you think I would become when I grew up?
I didn't really think of a specific profession. I didn't think nurse but something similar like teacher or doctor. I knew you would do something that would envolve working with people as opposed to machines.




Asking my friends what my greatests gifts/strengths was a little scary. Atleast I wasn't asking what my weaknesses are but it is strange to see yourself through other people's eyes. Here are some of the responses that I got in no particular order:



From my friend Stephanie (one of my fellow nursing students....she is always there to study with me in the morning and bitch about school)

Motherly - caring

Hard-working

Smart

Amazing multi-tasker (um....kids, school, husband)

Ridiculously patient and calm



From my friend Rachel who is taking the class with me. She always helps me when I don't understand something and doesn't make me feel bad about not being organized.

- Very helpful; always ready to be a mom

- You keep me sane! When school gets crazy and everything is hectic, you are my rock!

- You give me family perspective on priorities and responsibilities.

- You speak with insight and ask questions that people don't want to. You don't believe something just because someone tells you to.

- Makes complicated things simple.



From my hubby Alberto. He is always there for me when I need to study or complain about school.

- great empathy

- can relate to and get along with others well

- smart

-trustworthy

- loving and caring

- plays great with kids

- funny and quick witted



I decided to ask my son Julian who is 5 1/2 what are my greatest strengths. I first had to explain what strengths meant....

- reads good books to me

- makes good food

- beautiful face (I promise I'm not making these up ;) )

- wins lots of games (not as easy as it seems even when you are playing against a 5-year-old)

- has fancy clothes (ok....I don't know where that one came from)

I asked my mom who has always helped me when I needed it. I wouldn't be where I am at if it wasn't for her....
- determined to reach a goal
- compassionate
- smart
- have insight into yourself and other people
- willing to be flexible





We also had to do something that we love from our in class activity. One of my favorite things to do as a child was to get dirty. I don't know what it was about playing in dirt and mud that was so fun. I still enjoy getting dirty but not in the same way that I did as a child. Now I really love gardening. Unfortunately I don't get as much time to garden because of work and school. I have decided to start an indoor garden. It will be easier once it isn't so cold outside because I can put my plants outside. But I will make sure to keep up my love of gardening during the winter. I will plant a couple of plants to put in the window (and not forget to water them!). And I will start seedlings so I don't have to buy plants once summer starts. There is something about touching the earth that is really relaxing and grounding. Being the earth lover that I am, it really makes me feel part of the earth.

My first post

I am graduating in May (finally!) and needed an upper division elective to graduate. There were only a few classes available and this class sounded the most interesting. The name for the class has since changed but it sounds like this class will be very interesting.



When I signed up for this class I was only worried about getting credit for graduation. Now that I know what this class is about I am hoping to learn more about myself and others in the class. I also like the idea of "killing my TV". Even though I don't have cable I know I watch too much TV. I feel like my kids watch more TV than they should. Hopefully turning the TV off will teach my whole family that there are better things to do with our time.



I was a dreamer as a child. I always got in trouble in class for daydreaming and staring off into space. Part of the problem is that my last name starts with a T so I was always in the back of the class. And I needed glasses which didn't help me pay attention. I don't know what fascinated me....probably everything. I loved to read (and still do). I would read anything I could get my hands on. I used all my senses equally. I used to try to "block" one of my senses and see how well I could function with just the others. It was interesting trying to walk around the house with a blindfold on or doing "taste tests" with my brother.

When I was younger I was quite a "tomboy". I loved to get dirty, climb trees and play sports with boys. Sometimes I wished I was a boy so that people wouldn't question how I liked to dress or what I liked to play. Now I am proud to be a woman but it always bothered me that people gave me such a hard time for just being me. I still enjoy getting dirty but now I do it by gardening or running around with my children. I think being "different" as a child made me a stronger person. I was stubborn as a child and I think that has helped me as an adult. Now I know to stick to what I believe in and not let anyone change me. It also helped me make sure that my children know they can be anything they want. They should not be embarrased by what others say about them. This is especially true for my daughter. She is very secure about who she is as a person.