Reflecting on Fear

I have to admit that I have a little fear when I think about my goal. I would like to become a midwife which can carry a lot of responsibility. You are responsible for not only one but two lives. Sometimes I think it would be easier and less stressful to just become a RN and do that for the rest of my life. But then I think about if I would really be fulfilled and happy with that. I'm sure I would enjoy it for a while but I have a feeling I would be bored eventually. I would also like to have more autonomy when it comes to my patients. I don't want to have to go to a doctor every time I want to order a medication or if I need to send a patient for a test. I guess I just like to be independent and not ask anyone for anything (if I don't have to). Part of being independent is having more responsibility. That is what scares me. Responsibility is a little scary. Ok it is a lot scary. The way I get through my fear is to remind myself that I would be doing something that I really want to do.

My fear is stage fright. I know that I can learn to live with or get over my fear. It will not stop me from achieving my goal. My mom is the main person who keeps me going. She went back to school when I was younger I saw that she could do it as a single mom with two small children. When I tell her how school is driving me crazy or I don't think I can do it anymore, she reminds me of how far I have already come. She tells me that nothing in life is really easy and everyone has things they have to do that are hard. That really puts things back into perspective and gets me back on track.